My wife thinks guns should be banned, I love them. Here’s how we compromise.

Guns were never just a “small difference” between us.

I grew up around firearms and enjoy owning them. My wife, on the other hand, thinks they should be banned. You can imagine the tension that was caused early in our relationship. But over time, we found a way to meet in the middle — without either of us feeling like we gave up our core beliefs.

If you and your partner clash over guns, you’re not alone. It’s not easy, but it’s possible to find real balance. Here are nine honest tips that helped us build trust, stay safe, and respect each other’s views — without any tricks, pressure, or resentment.

1. Buy a Safe Before You Buy a Gun

Nothing shows responsibility like securing your firearms right from the start. Before ever bringing a gun into the house, invest in a small gun safe. It doesn’t have to be a massive, 70-gun vault with biometric locks and steel reinforcements – just something compact and accessible that shows your spouse you care about safety, especially if kids are involved.

For spouses who are already nervous about having a weapon in the house, knowing it’s securely stored goes a long way toward easing that tension. A simple, affordable safe signals that you’re not reckless – you’re intentional and cautious.

2. Start With a Gun Class – Together

One of the best ways to introduce a non-gun-loving partner to firearms is through a structured class. A beginner-friendly class takes the mystery out of guns and replaces fear with understanding. You’ll both learn about how firearms function, how to safely handle them, and why proper training matters.

Many states offer concealed carry permit classes or introductory shooting courses where you can borrow firearms and bring your own ammo. These classes are professional, low-pressure, and welcoming. Even if your spouse never plans to carry a gun, the simple act of learning about them can demystify a lot of anxieties.

3. Make the Range a Shared Experience

When you finally make that trip to the range, don’t make it a trial by fire. Starting someone out with a large-caliber revolver or a snappy micro-compact just because it looks cool is a surefire way to ruin the experience.

Instead, begin with a light, easy-to-control firearm – like a .22 LR semi-auto or revolver. The goal is comfort and confidence. Loud, heavy-recoil guns can be intimidating, especially to someone brand new to shooting. Ease them in gradually, and focus more on comfort than competition.

4. Turn Practice into a Game

Once you’re both at the range, lighten the mood. Make shooting fun. Turn it into a friendly game – first to hit the bullseye three times doesn’t have to do the dishes for a week. Or see who can group shots tighter with fewer rounds. Not everything about firearms needs to be framed as deadly serious. Fun, safe practice helps reduce anxiety and builds confidence.

This also shifts the perspective. Instead of being “your thing” that your partner tolerates, shooting becomes something enjoyable that you share. Laughter and success are great antidotes to nerves.

5. Attend a Ladies-Only Range Night

Some spouses – especially women – might feel more comfortable learning in a setting where they’re surrounded by peers. Many gun ranges host ladies’ nights, where female instructors and supportive communities create a welcoming environment for beginners.

These events often include discussions about self-defense, trauma recovery, and personal empowerment. For someone who’s been through a frightening experience or simply feels uncertain, seeing other women confidently handle firearms can be powerful and inspiring.

6. Respect Their Fear, But Offer Perspective

Not everyone who’s hesitant about guns is anti-Second Amendment. Often, the fear comes from unfamiliarity or a past trauma. Respect that fear – it’s real, and dismissing it only makes the conversation harder. But at the same time, gently offer perspective.

Remind them that firearms, when handled correctly, are tools. The same way we install alarms or carry pepper spray, a gun is one more layer of protection. And unfortunately, bad situations don’t give warnings. Self-defense is about being ready before you need to be.

7. Give Them Control of the Pace

Forcing a spouse into the gun world all at once is a recipe for resentment. Instead, let them control how fast or slow they want to move. Maybe they’re ready for the range but not for carrying. Maybe they’re open to a shotgun at home but not a handgun.

That’s okay. Progress is still progress. Let them choose their level of comfort and take baby steps if needed. When someone feels like they’re part of the process – not a passenger being dragged – they’re more likely to stay open-minded.

8. Be Honest About Why It Matters to You

Sometimes, the biggest hurdle in a relationship isn’t fear – it’s confusion. If your spouse doesn’t understand why guns are important to you, take the time to explain. Maybe you’ve been a gun enthusiast since childhood. Maybe you work in a high-risk profession. Or maybe you just want to know you can protect your family if the worst happens.

Being open about your motivations creates emotional transparency. It shows you’re not obsessed – you’re prepared. And that kind of preparedness is often rooted in love and responsibility, not paranoia.

9. If You’ve Tried Everything, Stand Firm (With Respect)

Let’s be real: sometimes, you can do everything right and still not get buy-in. You’ve bought the safe, taken classes, gone slow, and been understanding – and they still don’t want a gun in the house. At some point, you may have to decide for yourself.

You’re not choosing a gun over your partner – you’re choosing to be responsible in your own way. That doesn’t mean being reckless or confrontational. It means telling your spouse, kindly but firmly, that your role as protector matters, and that this is how you choose to fulfill that role.

Will every spouse come around? Maybe not. But respect goes both ways. Sometimes, standing your ground shows how deeply you care about their safety – even if they don’t fully understand yet.

It’s About Partnership, Not Persuasion

This isn’t about winning an argument. It’s about building trust. For gun-loving spouses, understanding your partner’s concerns is just as important as defending your rights. And for those who are hesitant, giving space for education and experience may change everything.

Most importantly, remember that every relationship is built on communication, compromise, and shared goals. Your love for each other should always come first – because that’s what you’re both trying to protect in the end.