Kaery Dudenhoffer, a seasoned self-defense instructor with Active Self Protection Extra and Cary Concealed, has been teaching concealed carry classes for over 15 years. In a recent video, she was joined by her son and co-instructor Ethan Dudenhoffer to discuss a curious pattern: no matter who’s in the class or how much time passes, the same questions keep coming up. From legal myths to emotional uncertainties, Kaery and Ethan explain what new gun owners really want to know first – and why those questions matter.
911 Calls After a Shooting: What Should I Say?
The first and perhaps most common question asked in their classes is about calling 911 after a defensive shooting. As Kaery explains, students want to know how they can “get the dispatcher and first responders on their side.” Ethan adds that people tend to panic during these calls, often rambling or saying things that could later be used against them in court. Despite how often this question arises, Kaery notes that not enough people actually ask it, even though they should.
The Danger of Saying Too Much Too Soon
Ethan dives deeper into why 911 calls can be dangerous for your case. When someone is shaken up after a traumatic event, their mind may be racing, and they may blurt out things they don’t truly mean. Kaery, who’s worked on several expert witness cases, confirms that things said in the heat of the moment can be easily misunderstood by investigators. “I know what they meant,” she says, “but that’s not necessarily what the court hears.”
The ‘Drag the Body Inside’ Myth
Another question that still comes up, shockingly often, is whether someone should drag a body into their house after a shooting in their yard. Kaery laughs as she paraphrases a common version: “My brother-in-law’s cousin’s ex-boyfriend, who’s a deputy, said to drag the body inside before calling the cops.” Ethan confirms it’s not just a joke; students have seriously brought this up. The idea is both outdated and dangerous, and it reveals how misinformation still spreads like wildfire.
Bad Advice From Good Intentions
Kaery clarifies that most of these myths don’t come from bad people but from folks trying to make sense of what they’ve heard. Unfortunately, TV shows, movies, and gun counter “experts” often warp reality. Ethan notes how many students come into class with a confrontational tone, almost daring the instructors to challenge what “Uncle Joe the former cop” told them. These aren’t just questions – they’re tests of credibility.
Hollowpoints: Illegal or Essential?
Many first-time concealed carriers wrongly believe that using hollowpoint ammunition is illegal. Kaery points out that some states like New Jersey and cities like San Francisco have had restrictions on hollowpoints, leading to widespread confusion. What’s more surprising to her students is that using ball (practice) ammo in a carry gun can actually be seen as negligence in court. Ethan jumps in to say that people would understand the importance of proper defensive ammo – if only they knew the full story.
Is Carrying With a Loaded Chamber Too Risky?
“Israeli carry”, keeping a defensive handgun unloaded until it’s drawn, is another frequent topic. Ethan shares how uneasy he once felt about carrying with a round chambered, especially before fully understanding holster safety. But after watching a video compilation by ASP’s John Correia, showing real-life self-defense scenarios gone wrong due to empty chambers, it all clicked. The decision to carry loaded is about readiness, not paranoia.
Learning by Experience, Not Just Instruction
Kaery emphasizes that she never tells her students what to believe. Instead, she aims to give them the tools and real-world knowledge to make their own decisions. “I want my students to learn how to safely and confidently carry a loaded gun,” she explains. That means helping them grow comfortable with quality holsters, reliable firearms, and knowing what to do under stress, not just telling them “trust me.”
The Hollywood Effect on Self-Defense Thinking
One of Kaery’s biggest frustrations is how much Hollywood has distorted the public’s understanding of defensive gun use. From shooting the gun out of someone’s hand to one-shot stops, many students come in with unrealistic expectations. Ethan jokes about “plot armor,” where the good guy survives a whole drum of machine gun fire – another fantasy that leaves real people dangerously misinformed.
Warning Shots, Shoot-the-Leg Ideas Still Linger
Even after all the training and awareness, Kaery says they still get asked about things like firing warning shots or shooting an attacker in the leg. These questions are common but deeply flawed in real-world applications. While Kaery and Ethan don’t answer those fully in this video, they promise a future follow-up to explain why these tactics often make situations worse or create legal problems.
Classroom Bumper Stickers and What They Reveal
Kaery also shares a troubling observation: many people who attend these classes still show up with bumper stickers that say things like “Dead Men Tell No Tales” or “I’d Rather Be Judged by 12 Than Carried by 6.” Ethan says he’s seen those same folks treat the class as a formality rather than a responsibility. These slogans reflect a deeper issue – some people want the right to carry a gun without understanding the full weight of what it means.
Why These Questions Matter More Than Ever
Here’s where I want to chime in. What makes this conversation so fascinating is that it proves something deeper: owning and carrying a firearm is about mindset more than gear. New gun owners ask these questions because deep down, they want to do the right thing. They’re just overwhelmed by all the noise out there. Kaery and Ethan’s honest, family-style teaching breaks through that noise with patience and realism.
Letting Students Struggle – On Purpose
Another takeaway I found powerful was Kaery’s parenting-style method of teaching. When Ethan asked tough questions as a kid, she didn’t always give him a direct answer. Instead, she challenged him to wrestle with the issue. That same philosophy shows up in their classes: help students own the process of learning. That kind of growth is more lasting than just memorizing answers.
Answers Are Coming, but Think First
In this video, Kaery and Ethan didn’t try to answer every question they raised. That’s intentional. They want students and viewers to sit with these questions, think through their own beliefs, and get ready to learn. But they also promise follow-ups where they’ll tackle topics like warning shots, hollowpoint legality, and what you should say on a 911 call.
For now, it’s clear that new gun owners aren’t just looking for gear recommendations. They’re trying to figure out what it really means to carry a gun, when to use it, and how to avoid making the wrong call in a moment that could define the rest of their life. And that’s a journey worth taking seriously.
Raised in a small Arizona town, Kevin grew up surrounded by rugged desert landscapes and a family of hunters. His background in competitive shooting and firearms training has made him an authority on self-defense and gun safety. A certified firearms instructor, Kevin teaches others how to properly handle and maintain their weapons, whether for hunting, home defense, or survival situations. His writing focuses on responsible gun ownership, marksmanship, and the role of firearms in personal preparedness.