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Never Buy Toilet Paper Again: 7 Plants You Can Grow at Home for a Good Wipe

When people think of long-term disaster preparedness, they often overlook one simple but essential item – toilet paper. Stockpiling hundreds of rolls for an extended emergency takes up an unreasonable amount of space and could cost a small fortune. But what if you could ditch toilet paper entirely and grow your own alternative? Believe it or not, nature has already provided us with plants that can serve as perfect toilet paper substitutes. Here are seven plants you can grow at home to cover your bathroom needs – literally!

1. Lamb’s Ear: The Softest Choice

1. Lamb’s Ear The Softest Choice
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When it comes to comfort, lamb’s ear is your best bet. This plant is so soft, it’s like wiping with a cloud. Its broad, fuzzy leaves make it an ideal substitute for toilet paper, and the plant grows easily in most climates. Lamb’s ear is also incredibly versatile. Some even use it as a natural bandage because of its antibacterial properties. Growing lamb’s ear indoors in small pots means you can have a year-round supply, and drying the leaves for future use is a simple process.

2. Mullein: The Pioneer’s Toilet Paper

2. Mullein The Pioneer’s Toilet Paper
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Mullein, often called the “cowboy’s toilet paper,” was widely used during the 1800s by pioneers and Native Americans alike. It’s easily recognizable by its tall yellow flowers and soft, velvety leaves. Mullein thrives in dry soil and can grow up to six feet tall, making it a great plant for home gardeners looking for a reliable and fast-growing toilet paper alternative. This plant is hardy and abundant in the wild, but it’s always safest to grow your own to avoid any chemical contamination from roadside spraying.

3. Large Leaf Aster: The Native American Choice

3. Large Leaf Aster The Native American Choice
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The large leaf aster is a plant that has been used by Native Americans for generations, not only for toileting but also in cooking and medicinal remedies. Its heart-shaped leaves are large and soft, perfect for wiping. Plus, this plant is easy to spot with its violet flowers and thrives in shady, wooded areas. If you live near the woods or have a backyard with plenty of shade, growing large leaf asters is a natural and eco-friendly choice.

4. Corn Lily: The Broad-Leafed Giant

4. Corn Lily The Broad Leafed Giant
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If you’re looking for something sturdy, the corn lily is a great option. Found mainly in the western United States, this plant boasts leaves as wide as a football, perfect for dealing with any bathroom situation. While it may not be as soft as lamb’s ear, its size and durability make it a solid choice. Just be careful to check for any foul smell from the plant—a sign that it’s been affected by disease and should be avoided.

5. Thimbleberry: A Multipurpose Plant

5. Thimbleberry A Multipurpose Plant
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The thimbleberry plant serves two purposes: food and toileting. During the summer, you can snack on the delicious berries, and afterward, you can use the large, soft leaves for wiping. The fuzzy texture and impressive size of the leaves make them an excellent natural toilet paper substitute. This plant grows best in the western U.S. and parts of the northeast, often thriving in mountainous regions with moist soil and shaded areas.

6. Blue Spur Flower: The Outhouse Buddy

6. Blue Spur Flower The Outhouse Buddy
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The blue spur flower, also known as Plectranthus Barbatus, was traditionally planted next to outhouses because of its soft and absorbent leaves. Its thick, broad leaves mean you only need a few for a thorough clean-up, and the pleasant scent is an added bonus. Although this plant only grows outdoors in warm climates, it’s an attractive and practical addition to any home garden in tropical regions. Just keep it away from pets, as it’s toxic to animals.

7. Pink Wild Pear: The Indoor Option

7. Pink Wild Pear The Indoor Option
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If you’re looking for a plant that thrives indoors, consider the pink wild pear. While it only grows outdoors in agricultural zone one, this beautiful plant can be cultivated indoors with the right humidity and warmth. The large, soft leaves make it a great toilet paper alternative, and the bark can be used to weave baskets or make rope, giving you even more survival options. It’s a fantastic dual-purpose plant for those who like to get creative with their homegrown resources.

Extra Tips: Avoiding Nature’s Nasty Plants

Extra Tips Avoiding Nature’s Nasty Plants
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While growing your own toilet paper alternatives is smart, nature has its dangers too. Be sure to avoid certain plants that can wreak havoc on your skin if you accidentally use them. Here are three you should steer clear of at all costs:

1. Poison Ivy: A Big No-No

1. Poison Ivy A Big No No
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“Leaves of three, let it be!” You’ve likely heard the warning about poison ivy, and it applies to toileting too. The green, pointy leaves grow in clusters of three, and their toxic oils can cause a painful rash. It’s definitely not something you want to wipe with, so keep an eye out for this sneaky plant when foraging.

2. Poison Oak: Another Itchy Hazard

2. Poison Oak Another Itchy Hazard
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Poison oak is another plant to avoid, known for its reddish leaves in the spring. This nasty shrub can grow as a climbing vine or ground cover, and like poison ivy, its oils will leave you itching for days. Always wash any exposed skin immediately if you come into contact with it.

3. Poison Sumac: Don’t Confuse It with the Harmless Kind

3. Poison Sumac Don’t Confuse It with the Harmless Kind
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Poison sumac can sometimes be confused with its non-toxic relative, the staghorn sumac. The poisonous variety has clusters of smooth, rounded leaves and lacks the fuzzy stems that make the harmless kind safe. Be sure to double-check before picking any sumac leaves for wiping.

The Smart Way to Handle Toilet Paper Shortages

The Smart Way to Handle Toilet Paper Shortages
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Growing your own toilet paper plants not only saves you money but also frees up valuable storage space. Plus, it’s an environmentally friendly option that’s been used for centuries. Whether you choose to grow soft lamb’s ear for comfort or durable corn lily for sturdiness, you can confidently say goodbye to buying rolls of toilet paper. Best of all, these plants can be grown in most climates or indoors, ensuring that you’ll never have to worry about running out again. Happy gardening and wiping!